*The writing below were written with consideration, but maybe still contains offensive opinion, so reader discretion is advised
The quote above from J. R.
R. Tolkien, an English writer, seems fit to describe my feelings as a comer or precisely perantau in Bahasa Indonesia. Being a comer is rather
frustrating because many people think of me like a newborn baby in this place
called East Java, Bandung, thus they kind of treat me differently sometimes. With
that, I want to just give them the quote and to leave me alone. It sounds
extreme, but truthfully it is exhausting. Up to this point, there are no major
events that made me being discriminated, though I can feel some sense of
stereotypes to me, but prejudice is something that I do not and would not know.
Therefore, this essay would be one of my revelations, as I will explain how and
why there are some things which are irritating from a comer’s perspective.
Rather personally, I did get offended when people asked
about general knowledge of my city. First, they would ask where did I come from,
and followed by their expressions which sounded cliché after I gave them the
answer. “Wow,
it is so far away” was often the first thing that came out of their mouths and
on their minds. Since distance is relative, and for me “far” is just a concept
of knowledge, this is one thing that I have to deal with on a daily basis,
especially when I use online ojek. It
only takes about two-hour flight, with three-hour ride, and that could not be
defined as “far” for me, so what is the big deal? Transportation is everywhere
and simple nowadays after all. Another thing that confuses me is when a friend
of mine thought that, still relevant to the matter of distance, my city is
still traditional with houses far from another just like inland cities. In the
era of internet, it gets on my nerves when people think foolishly; such as how
Zimbabwe is one example of the inland area for Indonesian, thus we make fun of
it, when in fact it is just like many other small cities in the world. I pitied
them for not knowing and also exhausted because that is happening often, and it
meant that I have to introduce my cities all over again until I am crowned as the
ambassador of my city.
The next worse things are the stereotypes that some
people implicitly stated. Questions like, “Your voice is so loud”, always makes
me think of my friends who speak softly, “But you look like from this area,
like Purwakarta” is successful in making me curious how am I supposed to look
like. My friend who lives in Bogor, got the same questions and statements over
and over again; “Do your parents work in mining? You must be well-off!” My
friend used to be offended to this question, by knowing that the mining
industry is ruining our lovely earth, and remembering that people come from
various backgrounds, she could not help but explain the whole matters, or sometimes just
simply state disagreement.
Cultural background is needed in my case, for many times
I had to explain it so that people will get why I do not, or maybe do, live up
to their stereotypes. People who read the paragraphs before must have variable
references, but the expectations must always be the same; whether Sumatera,
Sulawesi, Kalimantan, basically not around Java island. By reading the
paragraphs before, we may have some stereotypes in mind, since it could not be
avoided and naturally exists. Well, born and raised in Samarinda, the capital
city of East Kalimantan, do not make me “one type of someone”, but when I went to
somewhere far from my usual surroundings, people makes me believe so. We do not
have to live up to people’s expectations, but somehow we do. Since power does
important, and as a comer I can sense that we are powerless, I have to
sometimes play out what they want me to do. I am originally a hybrid person,
everything in my life could not be easily figured out; a Sundanese father and a
Javanese mother who uphold modern-family values of Indonesia as general. Crisis
identity always reoccurred, especially when people stereotype me for someone
who I am not. Reminding me of a quote I watch from a drama, “everyone has their
own surroundings to deal with, so it is not good to be judgmental after all,”
even though ironically that is what I do in this essay.
In my case, everything just went down on my nerves, but
some people have to face the harsh reality. One of my friend was used to get
joked from her friends that they are scared if they would be put under black
magic, or what we call santet.
Kalimantan is known for its Dayak tribe, and by looking at the past where Dayak
was known for its practices in black magic to win some war and conflicts, they
might think of that. Though, the rate of mixed-cultural people is higher than
the Dayak tribe itself, and we have nothing to do with each other. Just imagine
if the actual Dayak people hear something very insensitive like that. Thus,
making it an inappropriate thing to say, even as a joke. Another story comes
from another minority which is Papua people in Jogja. Based from my friend’s
story, they are known for being into violence and drinking. Hence, the people
around reject them when they are looking for a place to stay, by saying that
there is no room left. Being born is a fate for everyone, we can neither choose
nor change where we came from and born at, so why does that have to do with our
future? I believe that it is just nonsensical at its best.
One
last thing, personally some Sundanese showed me some chauvinism
characteristics. The other day someone asked me if I want to go back to my city
or rather find a Sundanese man and stay here. Many also stated that other people
came to East Java because of Sundanese girls who are pretty. In fact, I noticed
that Indonesia’s standard of beauty has been accustomed to only Sundanese
standard of beauty which is white compare to other tribes in Indonesia. Coming
from parents with two different cultures, I prefer Javanese to be honest, but
after all, a person’s character and depth are more enchanting. Another thing is
that I was asked a lot about which is more comfortable between Bandung and
Samarinda, and mostly they expected me to answer Bandung. In which, I believe
everything depends on the needs and purposes, but I could not help to cringe at
their confidence.
To sum up, stereotyping is something that is natural, but
make it a sensitive joke, or talk nonsense (negative) is sometimes could be
wrong. For two years and a half, many things appeared and made me irritated.
But, going back to the quote, “Not all who wanders are lost”, I, as a minority
know my place, and so I have to accustom myself with the values around. One
thing I still do not believe is that I have to change what I am to what they rather
want me to be.
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